Episode 5: On drinking weird peach sparkling water while lying star-fished on your bed
Alternative title: On being late
Hi,
I’m typing this from my bed, per the title of the email. I unfortunately cannot recommend the peach sparkling water, it’s kind of terrible. It doesn’t help that I bought it and opened it 4 days ago so now it is very flat. It’s certainly not making the cut for a ~Thirsty Thoughts~ drink feature. But I digress.
What I thought about this week
Although I cannot recommend the water, I CAN recommend lying star-fished on your bed, which is a position I’m impressed I can maintain while typing on my laptop #commitment. I’m also cuddled under a yellow blanket listening to Sufjan Stevens, whose music makes me feel like I should be looking out a window while it’s raining. It’s plucky, and kind of sad, and very Midwestern.
I’m enjoying myself. It’s nice to rest — something I haven’t done a lot this week because I’ve been rushing around. I hate rushing — I hate the feeling of it, the anxiety, the pressure. Rushing is rarely pleasurable, it mostly feels like I’m not doing something that I should be doing. Which is ironic, because if you google the “psychology of rushing” (which is, admittedly, a weird phrase to google) the first result is:
In psychology, a rush is an acute transcendent state of euphoria.
A state of euphoria? Hardly. “Manic” might be more accurate? Is manic the same as euphoria, and if it is, UM, why don’t I feel happy #rude?
Which leads to the main topic I’m tackling this week: the act of rushing and it’s foil, the act of being late. I’m making the controversial argument that being late…….. might be good sometimes.
In researching the topic, most of the articles I found absolutely pathologized the act of being late, insisting “there was something wrong with” anyone who would act in such a *CraaAazZy* manner!!! To which I’m like, ok internet, calm down. The articles all, at some point, mention how rude and hurtful it is to be late. This is understandable to me if you are very late. Full disclosure: I am saying this as someone who is often 10-15 minutes late, to the despair of my parents and fiancé. And to them I say: I am sorry, I know it’s not cute. But hear me out.
One of the woes of modern life is feeling like there isn’t enough time, or that we’re not “managing time properly.” The laundry lists of things to do, and the expectation to execute them: getting your car repaired (still haven’t done that), going to the dentist (actually did that), responding to texts, talking to people, and completing roughly 15 million projects at work. I find myself hovering above and between each task, failing to notice scenery as I commute. Responding to small talk: “what have you been up to?” with a bland, “uhhh” as my mind defaults to cartoon scribbles and I wonder, “what HAVE I done lately??” I find myself in cycles of depletion and anxiety, unable to quiet the constant laundry list and, dare I say, live a little? Enter: the act of rushing.
One of the main places we are instilled with this mantra is *drumroll* in the workplace. We are expected to be good workers, and on time. However, we are also expected to work late without thinking twice. Having a “sense of urgency” is often prized, above, say, being thorough. The rules are very clear in one direction, but not the other; giving us the push to put our work before ourselves. I acknowledge that as a manager, I am often the one enforcing these very rules. But I feel conflicted because in slowing down, we are able to think more clearly and appreciate the details; live the age old truths taught to us by clichés and children’s stories (“stop and smell the roses” or “the tortoise and the hare,” anyone?).
In allowing ourselves to occasionally be late, to enjoy the process of getting ready, or drinking a cup of coffee, for example, we are allowing ourselves the grace to be present. We are reclaiming a small sliver of time for ourselves. If we stay late at the office, we should be able to give ourselves flexibility in the opposite direction. It’s interesting, one of the articles I read mentioned that the act of being on time is often a local or cultural phenomena — some cultures care about it more than others (In Napa, for example, people move slower and it is what it is. Unfortunately, this has become a stereotype and prejudice for some marginalized groups). But that’s just it, it’s subjective. Imagine a world where we didn’t have to care *so* much about rushing around to be on time. It doesn’t have to be a personal act. Everyone can slow down, unclench their jaw, and lower their shoulders a little.
If a friend is a few minutes late to meet up with me, I grant them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I just have a laissez-faire approach, but I don’t have the energy to spend interpreting their lateness as disrespect; often, it has nothing to do with me. I grab a cocktail in the meantime and have a good time by myself. I still get to see them, which is all I was looking forward to anyway. And I cherish the friends who do the same for me.
What I drank this week
Burn Cottage “Moonlight Race,” Pinot Noir, Central Otago, New Zealand 2018 $36.08 (Buy here.)
Ted Lemon!!! Uh, ever heard of him?!!! Okay, maybe not, but he is an ICON baby! He is the founder and winemaker at Littorai Vineyards in Sonoma, California. He’s known for his commitment to biodiversity — all his projects include full on farms in addition to growing grapes. Want to pet a goat while looking at vineyards? Ted’s your guy. This project is a collaboration between him as winemaker and a lovely New Zealand couple, Marquis and Dianne Sauvage, who own the vineyard. It’s coming from the Central Otago region, where I lived for 6 months when I was 10 years old — an ideal spot for growing Pinot Noir, and it shows!! The first time I blind tasted this I was gobsmacked it was from New Zealand. It tastes like the world famous Pinots from Burgundy, France. Light, perfumed, with a flavor that lingers in your mouth in the best way. One of my friends LITERALLY shed a tear. It’s an Oscar-worthy performance. I’d give it a standing ovation. (Also Cottage Core is so hot right now).
Darling Pinot Noir, Grand Vent Vineyard, Petaluma Gap, California 2019 $60 (Buy here.)
Can you imagine a more charismatic last name than Darling? It’s like Tom Darling was born to make wine. He’s so cool. And he has a cute dog. We recently featured him at my ~real job~ for a “Vintner Spotlight” where we poured a custom flight of his wines and he ran around talking directly with guests for a night. He’s approachable, but extremely detailed in his approach. This is a finely crafted single-vineyard Pinot Noir, coming from the Petaluma Gap in Sonoma County, California. The wine is straight up pretty. Think chewy strawberries and raspberries with savory herbs and a hint of umami. If you brought this bottle home to meet Mom and Dad for the holidays, they would approve.
Domaine Romaneaux-Destezet (Hervé Souhaut) Syrah, Northern Rhône, France 2019 (Buy here.)
This wine fucks (sorry fam 🥴). If it were an emoji, it would be the one with sunglasses. You know the one: 😎. It’s dark, mysterious, with notes of leather, black pepper, tobacco, and wild blackberry bramble. It checks the boxes for a classic Syrah, but comes together so harmoniously. This Syrah definitely rides a motorcycle. The producer, Hervé Souhaut, created Domaine Romaneaux-Destezet in 1993 (the year I was born… coincidence?…yes, definitely, but STILL). He has some of the most prized vineyard holdings in the Rhône Valley, right across from the hill that is Hermitage which, folks, is a BIG deal. We’re talking, some of the most highly respected wine and vineyards in the world. The vines are 50-100 years old (ANCIENT in vine years), making the grapes themselves highly concentrated as they struggle to grow. He refines his wine through processes like whole cluster and semi-carbonic maceration, which leaves the wine delicate and drinkable.
What I liked this week
This lizard meme that I completely forgot about, but dare I say…. may be the best of all time. It’s who I am as a person.
A trip to IKEA with my friends to pick out furniture for their new place. This one doesn’t need explaining, IKEA is fun!!! All the tiny rooms!!! The meatballs!!
This mango White Claw, enjoyed on the beach. (The best flavor is tangerine though, duh).
Opening the windows in my house!! There is something so magical about the first warm day when your home becomes one with outside, and there’s this breeze and crisp smell in the air.
Sufjan Stevens, obviously. “Chicago” (click it) was the first song of his I loved, and I listened to it even before I lived there. It makes me so homesick for Chicago I could throw up (in a good way? Maybe?). See also: Casimir Pulaski Day.
Several people asked I include more about ~fashion~ sweetie!!! And a ~favorite outfit from the week~. While I LURVE fashUN and fun clothes I will admit this is a bit outside my wheelhouse and also I am nervous bc I gained Covid weight!! And I hate talking about my body insecurities bc it is BORING. But anyway, here is a really bad picture of my fave outfit for the week. I was extremely proud of this sweater / collar / earring combo. I’ll do better next week, promise. Lol.
I wouldn’t say I “liked” this article, but it’s an important read: First Migrant Facility for Children Opens Under Biden in the Washington Post.
Biscuits. Have you had one recently? They’re amazing.
Chairman’s shape and resemblance to a bowling ball. She’s unreal.
This was fun.
Talk next week,
Kate
I can totally relate...I always have imagined I "tend' to be late because I continue to attempt to take care of 5 things before I go out the door when I only have time to take of 2...then I fall into exactly what you've described...
I love how you weave your thoughts to share your perspective in such relatable and entertaining way! can't wait until next week!!! Love you, Mom XOXOXOX
Kate,
This is the story of my life- being always 5-10min late. I hate the feeling it comes with being late too (anxiety, flustered, etc,) but myself care routine to go about my work day or date is so dialed in I refuse compromise. I wish America understood... This is something I’m working on and to be honest (& maybe even embarrassing here) it’s a little goal of mine. To.Be.On.Time.
Love you! Miss you! Happy Sunday :)